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Keep it sexy: how to stay satisfied and not stressed when you're trying to get pregnant

In the past, sex may have been nothing but fun for you and your partner. But for some couples who are actively trying to conceive, sex can become more of a chore than anything else. Not only will this make conceiving less fun, it could make it more difficult as well.

Gotta have it

If you and your partner plan to conceive without the aid of IUI, IVF, or a surrogate, then sexual intercourse is really the only way to do it. And not just any sex - intercourse has to take place during the fertile window: the day of ovulation and the five days leading up to it. Tracking your data and being diligent about having intercourse on your most fertile days is one of the best ways to speed up your time to pregnancy.

Sex strategy

You might have heard that certain positions are best for ensuring conception, but the truth is that position isn't really a huge factor - no one position has been scientifically proven to improve the odds of conception. There are some positions that may help get the sperm closer to the cervix, and in that way help boost your odds - namely the missionary position or penetration from behind - but unless you're engaging in some true gravity-defying positions, try not to focus so much on the physics. What matters most is that the position is a comfortable and enjoyable one, and that the sex happens during the fertile window. You can also hang out in bed afterwards and snuggle for a bit rather than immediately go to the bathroom - this will allow any sperm that's going to find it's way onto the cervix to have time to get there - but there’s no need to do a handstand or hang upside down for an hour afterwards. 

Keeping it sexy

Some couples have trouble with intercourse becoming clinical and stressful while they’re trying to conceive, which can drain a lot of the satisfaction from it. Try not to look at sex like a job. And don't skip foreplay just because babymaking intercourse is the main attraction. Remember, it’s just you and your loving partner, the same as always - just without birth control, which itself can be a new and exciting experience. In fact, 44% of Ovia users report that they’ve come up with creative ways to keep sex interesting while trying to conceive. So you might consider talking with your partner about what you could do to keep things fun, fresh, and pleasurable for you both. But this doesn't mean you need to try something brand new in the bedroom, unless that's your thing. More than anything, you should both just try your best to embrace sex as a bonding experience with each other - and don’t worry meeting a quota or saving your romantic nights for just one week every cycle. And continue to communicate honestly with your partner about how you're feeling about your TTC journey, sex, all of it. 

What to remember 

There’s no one secret sex tip that will help you get pregnant. Certainly, the most important thing you can do is correctly identify your fertile window - and you’ve got Ovia helping you with that - and make sure to have intercourse within it. But as you do so, try to enjoy the TTC journey with your partner, and that includes all of the quality time that you get to spend together between the sheets. 

Read more
  • Murcia-Lora, José María; Esparza-Encina, María Luisa. "The Fertile Window and Biomarkers: A Review and Analysis of Normal Ovulation Cycles." Persona y Bioética. Vol. 15 Issue 2, p133-148. 16p. Web. July-December 2011.
  • Stanford JB, Dunson DB. "Effects of sexual intercourse patterns in time to pregnancy studies." American Journal of Epidemiology. 165(9):1088-95. Web. 5/1/2007.
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